Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
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