She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
