please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
