I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
