Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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