My first STD was from a foam party
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
