Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
