South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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