I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
