Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
