3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
