You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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