hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
