Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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