yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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