i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
