Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy

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(954): View more from Florida

I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself

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(917): View more from New York City

When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.

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