your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
