doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
