return my video game
That's intense
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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