whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
