I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
