You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have feelings that need drinking.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
