It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
