I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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