Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We just shotgunned beers for America
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
