i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
