but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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