exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
