found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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