he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
