I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
