it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
