I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
