did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
