Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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