bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
