Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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