whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
