I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
