I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My bed smells like the plague
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
