She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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