i just wanna soil my oats bro
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
