You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
