8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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