Dual....:-)
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
