So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
