what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
