stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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