I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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